Life is Saudi Arabia: Year One Reflections

Today, June 6, marks our year anniversary in Saudi Arabia. It’s flown by. , also during Ramadan. Everything was new, foreign, HOT and seemed like a challenge. So many people said to us, “Wait until a year from now. You’ll be a veteran before you know it.”

I had a lot of apprehensions about moving here, but I was also up for an adventure. It really took no time to get accustomed to the differences – call to prayer, navigating trips off the DQ around and during prayer times, seeing a woman completely covered while her husband wears Western clothing, the heat, having to be driven everywhere, not being able to have a glass of wine while out to dinner, missile attack interceptions (NBD), etc. Just another day in the kingdom. 

As I’ve learned with most situations in life, it’s ALL relative. Experiences are what I make them. I can choose to let the positive or negative affect me.

On the positive, I’m so proud of the fact I made every effort to work in the Starcom Riyadh office, which very few women have the opportunity to do in this country. I enjoyed everyday there, getting to know the business in a new country, learning from people and making new relationships. I’m bummed I’m not working at the moment, but the silver lining is, that this isn’t a financial burden on us. And not working during this pregnancy has been a blessing, as my blood pressure and stress level will attest.

I’ve also been able to devote more time to the boys, my passions, and take better care of myself. What a gift! I’ve learned a new language…hmmmm, shwaya (a little). We’ve been able to see other parts of the region and took a couple amazing vacations. We’ve made new forever friends.

On the flip side, Saudi Arabia is still one of the most oppressive countries in the world. I recognize and respect the cultural differences between a conservative Muslim country and the U.S. There are a lot of changes that have taken place since our arrival though – women are no longer required a male guardian to travel, the women driving ban is lifted (so happy to be proved wrong on that one!), and the opening of movie, censored of course, theaters. But just a few weeks ago a number of women activists were arrested for speaking out against the government and royal family; for what exactly no one knows. Any progress being made is great, but I believe that improving human rights for women and foreign nationals are critical to be considered true cultural reform that will in turn help other countries to see any progress as legitimate. Early after we arrived I learned of Vision 2030 and wrote about my hope for progress. I haven’t lost that hope. We’ve been fortunate to be here at a pivotal time. I just hope more substantial change is yet to come that isn't just focused on entertainment, tourism, and capitalism. This is my struggle being here, particularly as an American diplomatic guest in the country.

When I meet new people they usually ask if I like being here. Being the honest person I am, I say “I don’t dislike it.” Same as when I lived in London, being outside of the U.S. for an extended period of time makes me appreciate home so much more. Even for all of its faults and shortcomings, living here has brought a lot of positive change and growth in my life and to our family. For that, Saudi Arabia will always have a unique significance to us. And yes, in case you were wondering, I will be getting my drivers license in the coming weeks!

Why Women Won't Be Driving in KSA Anytime Soon

Let me preface and stress, that what I am writing is just MY opinion. While I was writing my last post on the troubles I’m having trying to find a means to get to and from work, I found various articles and reports about the women driving ban in KSA. I became curious and wanted to educate myself.

What started with cultural and religious tradition of women not driving then became institutionalized in 1991. Following a pro-female driving campaign, a Saudi cleric issued a decree citing women’s driving promotes of ‘sinful’ practices - being alone with a member of the opposite sex, unveiling the face, careless and free intermixing of sexes, and committing adultery. This stirred the preverbal pot of the kingdom’s large conservative religious base so much that the Ministry of Interior was pressured to endorse it. And this is why women aren’t allowed to have a drivers’ license and therefore cannot legally drive.

Fast forward to now. Perhaps you’ve heard about Saudi women's driving activist Manal al-Sharif and her book, Daring To Drive? KSA is the last country in the world to not allow women to drive, which has been made it a topic of ongoing debate for years, even among Saudi princes. 

Saudis are constantly debating this topic. It’s a huge issue given the economic realities in KSA. Men (fathers, husbands, brother) who are the guardians all women are expected to financially support and drive women or provide the means for transport (private driver). If a man is out working, even if it is a typical 9-5 job, how is he driving kids to and from school, as well as running errands to keep the household functioning? OR how is he supposed to afford a driver that costs $750/month when he’s trying to make ends meet? Currently, 20% of Saudis live below the poverty line of $480/month. The drop in oil and gas prices has hit the country bad. So badly that some people are even taking pay cuts.

With the need to boost the economy there is been a lot of news reports speculating the possibility of women being able to drive soon. I just don’t think it’s going to happen though and here’s why…

One of the many aspects of Vision 2030 is to increase Saudi Arabia’s workforce by 1.3 million women. Awesome, right? When I first read that I thought this must mean women will be allowed to drive if they’re going to be working. Until I read that Uber had raised $3.5 billion, on June 1 2016, from Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund, the kingdom’s main investment fund, in one of the largest-ever investments into a privately held start-up. This is great for getting women to work, but what about women driving themselves?

The Uber announcement came literally a month after MbS, the then deputy crown prince, said “So far the society is not persuaded (by women driving) – and it has negative influence – but we stress that it is up to the Saudi society,” and he added that it is not “a religious issue as much as it is an issue that relates to the community itself that either accepts it or refuses it,” Gulf News reported in April 2016.

The investment in driver hailing app services aims to bring workers into the private sector by creating 450,000 positions by 2020. Uber and Careem say they will create up to 200,000 jobs for Saudi men by end of 2018. If all goes according to plan, this should also help the Vision 2030 goal of increasing the female workforce by five percentage points in the next five years to 28 percent.

So it makes complete sense that MbS, the now crown prince, and the Saudi government will be protecting their $3.5 billion investment in hopes of economic growth for the kingdom and attaining the goals set for 2030. A large part of the vision is about diversifying the country’s economic portfolio so that there is much less reliance on oil. I get that more job opportunities needs to be created for both men and women. It’s disheartening to think that those jobs might be at the expense of women’s rights.

I hate to be a naysayer because I would love nothing more than progress to be made in the kingdom. I’m only here for two years, I have the means to hire a driver, and I can come and go as I please because J doesn't approve my every move. My heart goes out to these women who have entirely different laws to abide by, who want to work, who just want to get to the grocery store or take their kids to a doctor appointment without having to be driven. For all this I would happily be proved wrong.

Can I Bum A Ride?

I know in previous posts I’ve touched on the fact that women can’t legally drive in KSA, but as I was WhatsApp-ing with a friend I realized that I haven’t delved into how convoluted the situation really is for me, especially now that I’m going to be working.

To give you some perspective for Saudi women, most have private drivers; 87% of Saudi families have private drivers, according to a Public Opinion Unit survey done in 2014.  Taxicabs are an option, but aren’t safe. Saudi Arabia is a very class based society so most Saudi women, with the means to have a private driver, would never take a cab. In fact, cabs are seen a something only poor people use. Recently changing the marketplace are Uber and Careem, which state that 80% of customers in KSA are women.

Some of you might be thinking, what’s the big deal? Adrienne, you have plenty of options to use an Embassy driver, hire a private driver, get a cab, or call an Uber to get to and from the office. Right???

WRONG. For me the general rules and practices are entirely different.

First, I actually don’t have an Embassy driver at my disposal. The motor pool drivers are available to us to use until our car arrives, but I can’t use them for regular ongoing personal use, like driving me to work.

Cabs are ruled out entirely for Embassy staff and family members. We have no idea who those drivers are and certainly don’t want them coming on and off the DQ, seeing where were we live, trying to creep around or attempting to get any information. The potential security issues are a nightmare.

A taxi-haling app seems like a good alternative since the drivers are vetted by the companies. And technically we are cleared to use UberBlack when we’re out and about in Riyadh. Security at the DQ gates can vary though. Some guards may let a driver on to pick me up or I might have to meet them at 1 of 2 gates, which are both over a mile from our villa. I’ve heard stories about people having to go pick up their delivered food at one of the gates because security won’t let them on!

And hiring a driver is more complicated than you’d think. In KSA there are a lot of non-Saudis living and working here, making up about at 1/3 of the total population. These people are sponsored by their employer to work in-country. We, I mean J, sponsors our nanny because she’s Filipina. I can’t because women aren’t allowed to sponsor employees. Technically, J is my “guardian” and I can’t do anything without him or his approval. So unless I can find a Saudi driver, which would be rare and he probably wouldn’t agree to drive me anyway being that I’m a woman, J would have to sponsor this person. Sponsorship can be 6 000 SAR, plus monthly salary could be 3 000 SAR. This is the full-time rate, regardless of the fact that he’d only be actually working about 45 minutes a day!

So this then begs the question, why am I figuring this out? Since my company wants me to work here, why wouldn’t this be part of my work contract? Surely they know how to deal with this. Well, not really.

As I mentioned before, there is only one other full-time female employee in our office. She’s a single woman living with her family and already has a full-time driver for her to take her anywhere she needs, not just work, because that’s how things are done here since WOMEN AREN’T ALLOWED TO DRIVE.

I have one last option, a driver hire app that covers the cost of sponsorship. J got it approved from the security office so now I just need to get a driver and hope he gets cleared because I just need a ride to work, which I never imagined would be this tough of a problem to solve! Wish me luck!!

A Brief Abaya History

As you know by now, I have to wear an abaya off of the DQ. Since there are such strict laws about being covered in KSA, it begged the question – where did this cultural tradition come from? With most things now that are unfamiliar to me, my curiosity is constantly piqued so I had to do some research.

The origins of the abaya are vague. Some think that it existed as long as 4 000 years ago in the ancient civilizations of Mesopotamia (which is now Iraq) and when Islam arose in the seventh century C.E., the religion absorbed local veiling practices into its culture, probably due to the dressing traditions of the women of Arab Jahiliya.

In the Arabian Peninsula, women have been wearing an abaya-type garment for hundreds of years. Before Islam, the women who were dressed in abayas were seen as luxurious women from noble families who did not have to work. They were distinguished from maids and prostitutes, who were not allowed to cover their bodies.

It was later adopted for religious reasons as a sign of modesty and privacy. For many, the abaya represents a proud tradition and deeply-respected culture. In the past, they were often made of wool or silk, and came in one flowing size. Bedouin women often wore various types of lightweight shawls and wraps, not necessarily the black abaya as it is now known. The first abayas were made from one piece, both for the head and the body. It went all the way to the floor and it covered both the head and the body.

I can subscribe to the function of the abaya. A few weeks after we arrived J and I went out for afternoon and there were sandstorms. I was happy to be covered so my clothes didn’t get dusty. I went out without my hijab and regretted it because I really would have appreciated my hair being shielded from the sand. I imagine when people were still living in the literal desert the utility of the abaya was great!

In modern day, not so much. In the office it’s constantly getting caught in the wheels of my desk chair. There is just so much material it’s like trying to pee in a wedding dress, that I have to take it off when I use the WC. I often trip walking up stairs, seriously. And the quality of the materials is the worst! I have the biggest struggle finding any made of linen or cotton. Most, although they look really cool, are made of synthetics. Not conducive to 115 degree heat. That much polyester in this heat is a fire hazard and I could burst into flames!

So why do KSA women wear black abayas? Well, the answer for this a really hazy. I read that black was a color that early women were able to easily create from the resources they had – goats mainly – and so black it was. I don’t know, wearing goatskin in the desert heat seems unbelievable. It’s also said that Muslim women wore black because it didn’t reveal anything underneath. It was originally connected to Islam and it fulfilled a purpose of not revealing anything. Another source I read stated that one man had the abaya market cornered and he only made them in black. Leave it to a man to come up with the nonsensical color of black, while men wear white thobes. This is totally believable!

Recently norms have relaxed a bit. Have you seen the Carolina Herrera and Dolce & Gabbana abayas? Stunning! You can walk into any abaya boutique and see a small range of colors available – navy, hunter green, mauve, tan, grey. Surprisingly, they’re not very popular. I think only diplomats and expats buy them because I only see Saudi women wear black in public. A fashion designer commented that the demise of color was mainly due to ‘familial pressure’ applied by male family members who want women to blend in. Saudi Muslim women are told they aren’t supposed to attract any attention, hence their bodies being covered. So one can imagine abayas that are flashy or standout in a crowd are not going to be wildly popular by the 'guardians'.

I suppose I wouldn’t care that much about abaya style if I spent most of my time on the DQ, but now that I’m going into the office on a daily basis the abaya is now my means of fashion expression. So I have to buy a bunch of abayas - breathable, subdued color, unique, but not too flashy. 😉

(I Got) Work To Do

Now that we’re past the Eid holiday break, and everyone is back to work, I finally got my official job offer! I’m still working out some important details, like HOW I’m going to get to the office since I can't legally to drive. Minor details. I’ll start working for Starcom, on STC (Saudi Telcom Company) and likely support other Publicis Companies and client teams. Really thankful this is finally coming together so I can have an income again!

It was timely that the offer came through as there was a client meeting on Thursday that my boss wanted me to attend. Like many companies, especially tech, you have to request a visitor badge before arriving. STC is even more unique because for women, even those from vendors/agencies they have contracted relationships, we need to apply for a new badge for every visit. Most requests require 48-72 hour notice; my request was sent with 18 hours. And yes, all of the men in our office have STC vendor badges that allow them ease of entry…even the driver that takes us there.

When I woke up Thursday morning I wasn’t certain that my badge would come through in time to attend the meeting, but I got ready and went to the office to meet my colleagues so we could all ride over to STC headquarters together. When I got to our office my credentials had just been sent over to my boss. YAY! Getting showered and putting makeup on wasn’t for nothing!

When we drive up to the security gate on STC campus everyone hands over their badges, and my boss provides the electronic document he received to grant my access. The guard starts screaming to another guard in the next booth, like sirens blaring. It’s a moment like this when I really wish I understood Arabic. My colleagues start chuckling, trying to maintain their composure. They tell me that the guard alerted others that there was a woman on campus and asked for a walkie-talkie so he could request my security vehicle escort (!) to the Executive Club, the building where our meeting is taking place. I wish I could have taken a video of the scene, because I can’t do it justice in words. It was dramatic and comical. We waited for my escort and proceeded to the Executive Club. This was the first time my team had come with a women and they too were surprised with the security being taken. 

Of the 20,000 employees on STC HQ campus, ONLY four are women and I understand these are recent hires. These women are also segregated in their own building. As I’ve been told, most of the buildings aren’t even equipped with women’s restrooms, which I guess is in part why they have their own building. The security guard reaction to my presence wasn’t surprising, but it was definitely amusing. I was special…in a strange way.

In the conference room I notice there were about 30 people, four of them women, including myself and a woman from the creative agency. I deducted that other two women, of the four working at STC, must work in Marketing…a good sign for our client team? Mind you none of the women from STC spoke during the meeting, but it wasn’t like a US meeting where so many people are vying for share of voice. I could sense a hierarchy among the men in the room as well. And yes, the Saudi women were wearing niqab and hijab. Side note, it’s worth calling out that STC is mostly government owned. So I can’t help but wonder how much of Vision 2030 has anything to these female hires and maybe there will there be more?

With introductions I let my colleagues take the lead. The interactions I had with many of the male clients, Saudi men dressed in the traditional white thobe and red checkered shemagh, were encouraging. All looked me in the eye, shook my hand, greeted me with well wishes for my time in KSA and told me that they’re looking forward to working together. J had told me a while ago that any Saudi businessman is going to be respectful and polite in our interactions because of my work experience and my title. I recently read a NYTimes article from 2015 about a woman architect, based in NY, who’s been working with the Saudis or some time. Her perspective is similar. “In Saudi Arabia, it’s clear they have a great admiration for expertise, so the rules were changed a bit when they saw that I was bringing expertise to the table, which is of course why they hired me in the first place,” she said. I think the GM of our office prepped the clients on my background.

The purpose of the meeting was to review first-half 2017 – for the creative agency to recap the work they’ve done and for our team to give an update on the competitive landscape, media plans, as well as talk about any marketplace trends. Being that this was my first meeting, it was important that I contribute to the meeting and show some knowledge, even though I know nothing about STC’s business. Fortunately I was very familiar with a case study the team presenting so I chimed in on that. The clients asked me some questions. After the meeting one of our day-to-day clients even came up to me to chat for a bit. I considered this a big success for my first meeting.

As we left, my colleagues began asking me questions about what I thought of the clients and the meeting. I started replaying the last four hours in my mind and my head began spinning with questions. From a business perspective I was impressed with the client team. All asked great questions, requested valuable follow-up work to be done and definitely challenged the team on upcoming projects. From a cultural perspective, I felt like the day spanned opposite ends of the traditional to progressive spectrum, but with a LOT of contradiction. This seems to be the typical Saudi dichotomous struggle in a lot of my observations. Some hold strict standards and expectations of women, as interpreted from the Quran. Since I’m a Westerner and Christian, am I not held to the same standards? Yet, there seems to be Saudi men who are more liberal and don’t have problem interacting with (Western?) women. Are they comfortable with their wife’s face being uncovered? Do their wives work? Do they support progress and women’s rights? Or are they just falling back on these cultural archetypes because that’s tradition and how things have always been done?

So many questions, and I wonder if I’ll ever get to ask them to any Saudi men? Interestingly, none on my colleagues are Saudi. They're mostly Lebanese, Pakistani and Indian and had no light to shed. By the time I got home I really wanted to take a nap, but I rallied with a Red Bull and joined J for Thursday night steak dinner at the Embassy to hang out with our fellow Americans, not question gender roles and just feel normal. But I am looking forward to getting into the office on a regular basis and many more client meetings!

Riyadh: Week Two

If there is anything we've heard multiple times, and now affirmed, since our arrival is that we arrived at the worst time of year.

Welcome to Riyadh! It's Ramadan where the government and stores have limited hours during the day so good luck getting paperwork done and running errands; remember that no restaurants are open until sundown because of fasting; most people on the Diplomatic Quarter (DQ) have left for the summer so it's going to be a little boring around here; if you think it's hot now wait until August; try to avoid the grocery stores during prayer time when you'll be stuck there until it reopens; since you don't have a car yet and can't drive anyway because you're a woman make sure to call motorpool with enough time; don't plan on any immediate travel because you can't leave the country for the next three months as a stipulation of your visa; and most importantly don't forget your jet black abaya when you go out in the 110+ degree heat!

OK I'm making it sound worse than it is, but it REALLY is funny when you start listing all of the challenges of arriving in June/Ramadan. Once Eid (the week-long new year holiday) is over next week, the day-to-day will be more manageable. The worst of it is not being able to go out to restaurants. There is an Eataly here that we're excited to check out! And it's frustrating to not be able to not have the freedom to come and go as I please. That I will have to get used to since I'm not allowed to drive, but will be better once our car arrives in three months and J can drive us. I suppose I'd rather arrive now and experience the worst of it. We have nowhere to go but up from here, riiiiiight???

On the positive, I was able to visit the Starcom office this week! It's been a slow moving process, but the General Manager here is keen to create a position for me while I'm in country. Will have more to share in the coming weeks, but I likely won't start until later this summer. It was wonderful to meet those in the office and I learned so much in the few hours I was there about the clients, business in the region, and agency culture. There are about 20 people across Starcom and Mediavest, including two woman - one of which is an intern. I know that doesn't seem very progressive, but it's HUGE in Saudi terms. I had no idea what to expect, but candidly was very nervous about being introduced to an office of nearly all men. They quickly put me at ease. Everyone was lovely, extended their hands to welcome me with a handshake, wished me the best, and told me how much they're looking forward to working with me. It felt really good. 

I had a few great conversations with the executive leadership in the office. I learned so many interesting things, but my favorite bit to share is that people stay up all night during Ramadan. A colleague asked me if I'd been out at the Souq or to the mall at 3am to see how crazy it is. Like Black Friday crazy, every night. Fasting sunrise to sundown seems completely doable if you're sleeping through it! Makes complete sense and much credit to the creative thinking to work around it. This now explains why there are so few people out during the day.

As Week Two comes to a close, with very limited mobility and it being too hot to do much outside, I am getting cabin fever and can't wait to get out an explore a bit. Until I'm able to work I'm going to enjoy this time home with the gents, meet as many people as possible, and hopefully make one of the many playgroup invites soon!